Patriot's Diary # 23: Patriots have opinions…however queer…

I asked a friend what she loved about Kenya and for the first time I met someone who managed to answer that question without gazing into the sky really raking their brains for an answer. She said that she finds it commendable that Kenyans don’t just have an opinion but a political opinion about anything and everything.

As I write this I am still not quite sure whether that is a good or bad thing. Maybe because it can be equated to a higher level of literacy and awareness of what is going on around them? Maybe? I am not sure. I think what I love about Kenyans is the fact that they are so opinionated.

Let me give an example. My friend and I were in the CBD till late and were not quite in the mood to go home and cook meals. We passed by a fast food restaurant to get the famous Kuku sama and chips (grilled chicken and chips) with a sparkling bottle of sugar and cholesterol carbonated in the form of a soft drink. While I was grabbing my chicken from the chicken section I heard my friend laughing and she had a hilarious look on her face.

As we were exiting the restaurant she told me what made her laugh in shock. Her ear studs generated a mini debate on why women detest female genital mutilation. The gentleman behind the counter, whose colleague was busy trying to fish out my tribe and woo me to his fancy soda display, asked my friend why women detest female genital mutilation yet can withstand having their ears pierced.

If I was a female activist extraordinaire, I may have probably run back into the restaurant and pulverized the cashier for asking that question. But I was left stunned wondering how a simple observation dug out such a question. My friend was stunned and said nothing but changed the subject. No form of analysis of that mini conversation can prepare you for reasoning of that kind. I am not quite sure what to think, but all I can say; I found it fascinating. Because he asked the question with childlike innocence.

I know some of you must think I may be psychotic right now, but before you rip your hair out, you need to understand why people will create an entire line of conversation from something simple. Like in my friends case, from ordering chips to a simple observation of pierced ears came Female Genital Mutilation.

I am still stunned and not quite sure what to write. All I can say is you never are quite sure what will come out of a Kenyans mouth. I guess that’s what makes discussions amongst us so engaging. It reeks of controversy, provocation and of course politics. They said it; I report it and right now just sharing that story has left me stunned. I still love Kenya!

Patriot's Diary # 22: Jig to Freedom

I enjoy listening to music, I believe everyone does. I grew up exposed to so many genres of music that attribute to my eclectic taste. I believe that the average Kenyan can attest to growing up listening to anything and everything. From pop, Lingala, R&B, Jazz to rock, house, reggae, zhouk, rhumba, classical music, you name it! Say Billy Ocean, Abba, Lucky Dube or even Lucciano Pavarotti a Kenyan will know who they are as well as their music.

Kenyan music has come from far. From the single Malaika (Swahili for angel) by Fadhili William; what I would term Kenya’s biggest International Hit that Miriam Makeba and Angelique Kidjo sing renditions of, to the band Sauti Soul with the single Lazizi. It’s been a progressive and steady growth and reinvention of music by and for Kenyans. (Right : Fadhili William)

‘Malaika’ is a hit from the 60’s which opened doors to independent Kenya’s musical era, what we now refer to as ‘Zilizopendwa’ (Swahili for once loved). As a child I detested this genre of music! It just sounded…well, old! I remember my mum had a checked case with old mini vinyl records that she would play on the turn table. She would dance jokingly to it, bobbing her head to the sound and telling me tales of her disco phase in the 60’s just after independence. I was a child, what did I know I just called it old people’s music.

I think the music that bridged the generational divide between my parents and us, their children was Lingala. Maybe because my dad played in the car every single time we were in it! But the sound of Kanda Bongo Man, Pepe Kale, Arlus Mabele in the 80’s was something I quite enjoyed. I remember a song by Sam Fan Thomas, that started with the sound of a horse neighing and then Sam saying, ‘Are you ready now’ with a response from a weird sounding crowd saying ‘Yeees’. I loved it. It sounded so funny and it had a ring to it!

(Left: Suzanna Owiyo)

Well that was then, Kenyan music in the 60’s running up to the late 80s was saturated with Congolese and South African hits and a few individual Kenyan greats like Malaika. The rest was mostly British and American Pop and Country music and R&B; what would be termed ‘foreign’.
In the late 90’s Kenya got its young boy band, Five Alive (yes, similar name to the juice) which was the beginning of Eric Wainaina’s and Victor Sei’s careers in music performance and production respectively. To be honest I can’t remember the other three members of the band, but Eric and Victor are the only members of the band as far as I know who are active in Kenya’s music industry.

Fast forward to 2009, and Kenya has seen the re-emergence and appreciation of culturally rooted sounds of Benga and Rhumba. With artists such as Suzanna Owiyo, Tony Nyadundo and Mike Rua’s performances flooded with revelers.

Other genres of Kenyan Music are growing strong; Afro fusion with the iconic Eric Wainaina, Sarah Mitaru and Atemi . A flavor of Kenyan pop known as Kapuka and Genge; Kenyan Hip hop has rocked the young generation of Kenyans, artistes such as Jua Cali, Nameless and Nazizi rocking the youth with these genres. And finally the most recent addition being an artistic explosion of Kenyan funk and House music by bands such as Just a Band. All these genres producing a melodic mirror of Kenya!

(Right : Jua Cali)

I reek of pride each time I witness Kenyan artistes earning international recognition and accolades. Whether it’s at the MTV Africa Music Award (MAMAs) or seeing Suzanna Owiyo mingling with the high and mighty or just performing at Hyde Park in London at Nelson Mandela’s birthday celebrations! Kenyan music isn’t just another sound it’s a musical torrent of Kenyan pride!

Patriot's Diary # 21: It's been a laugh to freedom

I have finally hit the half way mark in finding out the 40 things that I love about being Kenyan. But to be honest, I have been stuck, I have allowed myself to take in so much negativity to the point that I felt like giving up! I even told a friend of mine that I regret setting the bar at 40, I could have done 10! But here I am working on the 21st reason why I love my country.

I was thinking to myself, wait! I have been speaking my mind that must be a good thing after all. I can talk on the streets of Nairobi or any other parts of my country and speak my mind about things that I detest. Maybe if I said it as part of a mob, picketing on a road side, that dynamic might involve tear gas and a few strokes. But the fact that I can hold a microphone to my mouth and raise an opinion on radio or TV is progress on the freedom of speech front.

Freedom of speech has come a long way in this country. I am glad we are at a place where I can speak up against things that I detest in a public place, without worrying about a police informant or CID official arresting me and taking me to a torture chamber. I think Kenyan Comedy has played a role in this. In the late 90’s a trio; Walter Mong’are aka Nyambane, John Kiarie aka KJ and Tony Njuguna, by the name of Redykyulass performed sketches of political satire. They were the first people to publicly dress up, mock and imitate the president and his cronies in his presence. And they would actually leave the retired president Moi laughing his guts out! Now that is progress. And that was the beginning!

Comedy based on politics and imitating Politicians was a big hit! The Redykyulass crew made room for other upcoming artists to also follow suite in this genre of comedy. Then it evolved into ethnic satire that is still rib tickling today! Imitating the accents and the hilarious tendencies that each ethnic groups have!

The current Kenyan King of comedy, Dan Ndambuki aka Churchill is quite a piece of work! He has brought Kenyan Comedy to the next level of successful comedy; making the ‘Mickey’ out of a situation! He does it and does it well. He always keeps you at the edge of your seat when he is on radio masked as a rural teacher admonishing his ignorant audience. He is multifaceted; able to create different interacting characters on air, whether it’s a tea lady or the teacher or just a regular guy on the street! He connects so well with Kenyans of all ages, ethnic backgrounds and economic status.

They say laughter is the music of the soul. I believe that, because in the heat of harsh and unforgiving economic, social and political situation, that we are in as a country, what keeps people sane and ready to work even when they may not enjoy it is the sound of Mwalimu (Swahili for Teacher) King’ang’I in the morning.

I never realized how popular Dan really was, until one day I was in the chemist. The TV was airing the upcoming episodes of Dan’s TV show; Churchill live. One gentleman, who looked like he was in his late forties exclaimed in disappointment; he thought he had missed an episode. When I told him it was airing the following day, the look of relief and child like excitement said it all.

What I love about Kenyan Comedy is the fact that it is such a uniting tool. We laugh to the point of tears together. Because like any other type of comedy, you can only get the punch lines, insinuations, quips and gestures if you understand the culture. And that laughter is something to look forward to in the matatu or your car on your way to work in the morning at six o’clock in the morning. It’s an escape, a reassurance and a gut wrenching booster for your day! Laughter is Kenya’s new driving force.

Patriot's Diary # 20: Peculiarly Kenyan

I had tea with a friend of mine yesterday. He’s a reporter who’s been in the country for a few months now. And he expressed his frustration of certain Kenyan behavior that quite frankly, I also find downright annoying. It brought to the fore some things that purely constitute mannerisms that are uniquely Kenyan, here’s just a taste of what Kenyans are all about!

Pointing with our mouths

We Kenyans give directions in a queer way. First of all let me correct myself, we Kenyans barely give directions. Here’s proof. I asked someone for directions once and they used a landmark, fair enough, then it went downhill from there.

It started off with ‘..unaona ile nyumba ya gorofa? Ukifika hapo enda hivi,(gestures with lips) halafu utembeee hadi mwisho, ukifika mwisho umefika (‘You see the tall building? Once you get to it, go this way (gestures) walk till the end, once you get to the end, you’ve reached your destination’).

Seriously what is that? In what language does that make sense?!
Then the gesturing is always an arm outstretched but so close to your face you can’t see or they point at some building or landmark that is in obscurity or just point with their pursed lips while simultaneously giving you directions. I love Kenyans!

Finish my statement…

We are a story telling country and we all enjoy a juicy tale. I just find it hilarious that people always want you to finish their statements for them. For instance, ‘I was walking down the s….( I expect you to say street). I then I repeat street and continue with my story. ‘When I saw this wo..(I expect you to say woman) who was wearing a red dre (I expect you to say dress)’. You see where I am going with this right?

Initially it irritated me to the core, especially when it was an eye witness giving their account in a TV news story. They expect the reporter to finish their statements for them, when the reporter doesn’t they hold on for a couple of seconds thinking that the reporter will come round. When they realize that that isn’t going to happen, 2 minutes into the interview, they finish their statements. I eventually got used to it and now I just laugh it off.

It’s your birthday, where’s our gift?

I think this was just the hugest shock for me. When my classmates found out it was my birthday one day in primary school I was asked where the presents where. I didn’t quite understand what they meant, but in essence when it’s someone’s birthday (Not everyone, but there are some) you are expected to bring the treats. And not have people treat you.

You get the cake and share the cake and the goodies. And what you get in return? Glad you asked; the birthday song sung in all manner of tonal variations with the ‘I saw a fat monkey and thought it was you’ thrown into it.’ That’s not all, the curtain call, a funky Kenyan rendition of the birthday song…I guess that is the part I prefer.

Alternatively there is also a different kind of birthday ‘celebration’. Your friends, pinch you on your birthday a number of times corresponding to your age. (I never got pinched I scared people away) You are then showered with all kinds of concoctions; rotten eggs, stale milk and other rotten stuff put together. You then proceed to be hosed down and finally, once you’ve cleaned up; you get the coolest surprise birthday cake, goodies and similar singing as the first scenario. The moral of the story, I just cruised through school not telling people when my birthday was, why would I?!

It’s a party every day

Back in the 70’s the leading beer brand, Tusker, had Kenyans drinking themselves so much the government had to curb the drinking. So the beer company, East Africa Breweries Limited, pushed a new slogan; Baada ya Kazi burudika, ni wakati wa Tusker. (After work, relax, it’s time for Tusker). So fast forward to 2009; the Kenyan populace cannot, will not and shall never pass the chance to party.

It is pretty evident in the drinking culture around urban areas. People drink every evening from Tuesday after work till Sunday and still show up to work each morning on time! I find it sad, but fascinating at the same time. I can’t concentrate when I have slept for four to five hours. How about nursing a hangover in that mess?

And the winner of uniquely Kenyan Mannerisms is… Staring

Kenyans can stare. Forget the usual stares at tourists. You need to take a walk anywhere in Nairobi. We Kenyans stare at you to the point of discomfort! It is like there is a boot camp that recruits to train people on staring tactics. Forget water boarding, call up a Kenyan! Kenyans stare at anything.

(Kenyans can out do a lion stare any day)

My cousin once stood at a popular bus terminus in Nairobi’s Central Business District and just stared in the sky for about two minutes. He wanted to see if it would pull people to stare. True to his prediction; when he looked around him a crowd had flocked staring at the sky, pointing asking each other what was in the sky. Yet none of them asked the initiator, my cousin. And he walked away and left the growing crowd gazing at the blue sky on a sunny day! How cruel. But what can I say, it’s all peculiarly Kenyan. You have got to love Kenyans!

Patriot’s Diary # 19: What's that in your hand?

I think one of the most profound questions ever asked, was, ‘what is in your hand?’ It is not so much the physical presence of something in your hand but what your abilities are. I’m not going to ramble on with a ‘Yes you can’ speech, that’s been done and perfected.

I think looking at the average entrepreneur in Kenya says it all. I was going to watch a movie with some friends of mine at Sarit Centre (one of the many shopping malls in Nairobi). There was an ingenious snack idea. It is pretty simple; it is boiled maize (corn) which is then flavored with a sauce of your choice, served in a cup with a spoon.

As we walked into Sarit Centre the aroma of fresh corn just got our mouths watering. We wondered where it came from, then we saw the stand, I think it was called Corny Corner or something with the word corn in it. I remember a parent offering their child a spoonful of the corn and the child seemed to like it. And I thought, maybe I should grab some. I didn’t buy it, but one of my friends got a cup of the chili flavoured corn. Let’s just say after one spoon of the fresh corn melting in your mouth and sliding down your throat, you can’t stop. My other friend and I ate all the corn in the cup.


From a business sense, it is such a simple and effective idea. We are all used to the usual roasted maize doused with lemon and chili powder, from the road side. But this individual just decided to work with a snack that Kenyans loved and re-invented it, to have cheese, chili and other kinds of flavoured corn in a cup! It’s 9 times the price, of the roasted maize (90 shillings slightly over a US dollar) but still affordable, healthy and a decent snack! That is the power of using ‘what’s in your hand’.

Kenyans create and re-create, but the great ideas always shine through. I guess one gentleman by the name Zablon Muthaka must know that best. He was named the 2006 Entrepreneur of the year by Youth Business international; a charity organization sponsored by Prince Charles. Zablon walked away with a $1500 cash prize to show for it.


Zablon is a 26 years old resident of Kangemi, a slum in the outskirts of Nairobi. He has changed and still strives to change his environment by just, well, doing what our mother’s told us to do; clean up after ourselves. He collects and recycles garbage. It may not sound like much, but when you are depressed and unemployed and lowly educated there is a tendency to only see the worst and not do anything about it.


Zablon did something. He looked at his environment sought for help and used ‘what was in his hand’ and is now the proprietor of Beta Bins waste management in Nairobi.
His venture has employed five people, translating to five less families living in bleak poverty. Zablon’s enjoyed an annual turnover of 4,699 dollars. (Right: Zablon Muhaka at a dumping site)


It’s just the beauty of using what’s in your hands. A keyboard is in mine, and this is exactly how I get my bread buttered. I plan to do more with what abilities I have as I work towards that House on the shores of Lake Baringo with a Yacht. I know it’ll happen, because this is Kenya and I know and use 'what I have in my hand'!

Patriot’s Diary # 18: It's Football Country

One of Kenya’s hugest past times is watching sports, and not just any sport, football. This country is football crazy! Walk into any city hangout place, there is always a 42 inch plasma screen beaming a football match.

The football craze isn’t just about the Bundesliga, la Liga , Serie A or English Premier league. It’s also fired up in the local Kenyan premiere league with arch rival teams like Gor Mahia and AFC Leopard. Their respective fans are so obsessed with their teams that that alone would be a cause for verbal exchange. They may agree about everything else, but when it comes to their teams, there is no compromise.

Conversations held by Kenyan football fanatics always constitute terms like ‘our team’, ‘our boys’, ‘we played well’ and many others. Or will state ‘We will be at Emirates stadium this afternoon’ referring to maybe watching Arsenal playing at home against a rival team. There is such an essence of ownership and loyalty by Kenyans to these teams playing tens of thousands of miles away. It is fascinating.

My first experience, watching a live match was electrifying. It was last year when Kenya was playing at home against Zimbabwe for the world cup qualifiers. The crowds, the cha

nts, the bull horns, the Mexican wave; electric. It’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.

The interesting thing about football in Kenya is even if you care less about it like I do; you will still find yourself abreast with the latest news. There were two occasions that I surprised myself. I was upset that Manchester United sold off Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid. The second occasion was when Jose Murinho left Chelsea as manager. I can’t recall his reason for departure. But I still don’t understand why it bothered me so much yet I don’t watch the matches. Though at times I ask for scores for certain matches. (Left: Manchester United's Patrice Evra,a French National of Senegalese descent)

Then there are the big matches and the match filled weekends. You will always know when there is a big match, especially in the English Premiere league. There’ll be chatter in the office about it. People making fun of each other because of the teams they support. Then you’ll have common teasers like Man Useless, referring to Manchester United fans. People branded in team scarves and t-shirts and the taunting phone calls you overhear people having.

I can remember my brother would get three calls during a big match, when and if the first goal is scored, during half time as if they are re-strategizing with Arséne Wenger. And when the final whistle is blown. It is hilarious seeing my brother miserable when Arsenal looses a match.

On a Football match filled weekend on the other hand, you are guaranteed to go deaf! It’s the stadium chaos and noise brought to homes and pubs. The claps, the cursing, the jumping and screaming is blood curdling. It’s like a war zone without any fatalities. Then when the moment arrives and the ninetieth minute whistle is blown, the loosers walk out of the bar with the heads hung as the winners gloat and pour into the streets cheering and hooting.

The rural area is never left behind; with individuals adorning imitations of Ronaldo’s number 7 Manchester United Shirt, or Ronaldinho’s number 80 Milan shirt or even an Argentine shirt with Diego Maradona’s number 10. It’s all about the big names and players that Kenyans care about. I can remember in the 1998 Worldcup, Brazilian Football star Ronaldo was a sensation. So many boys born around that time were named Ronaldo in my rural home. (Right: Arsenal's Emmanuel Eboue an Ivorian National)

There is so much about the football craze in this country that one needs to visit to experience, especially now that the World Cup is knocking on our doors. So the next time you are in Kenya, drop by a local pub and soak in the electric feel of football like nowhere else, cause Kenya is Football country.

Patriot’s Diary # 17: Clothed in Patriotism

It’s been said over and over again that you are judged by your appearance. But it’s always been denoted to be relevant in the business and employment sectors. But how about taking a look at what you are wearing today.

What does it say about you? Is it a tell tale sign of who you really are or is just a cover up?

I love cultural dress for one single reason; it tells on you before you say anything!

(Left: Women clad in Khangas)

You can spot a Ugandan a mile away when they are wearing the Gomasi or Kanzu, a Nigerian by the extensive headdress and rich fabric of the Agbada or the Ghanaians adorned in their outfits made of Kente cloth. There is always something that an African National will wear that will yell, HERE I AM!

In 2004 there was an effort in Kenya to create a national dress. I applaud the efforts of the designers, but it just never kicked off. The Kenyan dress is cannot be stand

ard. How can it be when you are dealing with a multi ethnic nation?

Kenyans may not be flashy like their West African counterparts, but one thing we do and do well is accessorize the different cultural bits and bobs. Dangling wood earrings, a

bangle made of Maasai beads and spruced up leather sandals with Maasai beads and crowned with a kikoy bag.

Another common scene is head wrapping, similar to the Nigerian head dress. Women use, big and bold colours and wrap their hair in dynamic shapes, one Kenyan woman known for this is Orie Rogo Manduli (Shown right). She doesn’t hold back.

Other than just the head wraps I love the all natural look that Kenyan women are adapting losing the relaxed hair. There is a strong authentic African look with dreadlocks and natural cropped afros which make the facial features just pop out! We are a beautiful people.

From the head to the neck to the outfits made of Khangas and Kikois; Kenyans are adorning themselves in the way they know best. Then on our feet other than the sandals and imports from china, Europe and America, some Kenyans were rubber shoes. And when I say rubber, I mean car tyre rubber in the form of what we call Akala. Akala are perfect for a weekend out of town, they are sturdy and strong and mostly men are the ones who wear them.

I love seeing Kenyan men in branded Kenyan rugby or football team shirts. I know you may have expected me to say something more fancy, but I love the way they look. There is just something about a Kenyan guy in a simple Kenya rugby shirt and a pair of jeans with Akalas (shown right)!

All in all, when it comes to dress, Kenyans don’t re-invent the wheel; we just put different cultural elements together and make the most of the diversity we have. Now that’s a flashy way of being patriotic.