Patriot's Diary # 11: It's Kenyan if it's a Bargain

In Kenya everything is about bargaining, whether its fare to commute to a destination, buying a shoe in a store or even buying fruits from a market, everything is a bargain.

The fascinating thing about it is, you can be seated in a matatu (minibus) to the same destination but passengers pay different fares. Because it’s all about how well you manage to convince the conductor, that that's all you can afford. It does not work all the time, but you are never penalized for trying your luck.

Then there is the ‘don’t speak fluently when shopping for second hand wares’ rule. Opening your mouth and speaking English may be a reward in other sectors, but when you are shopping for second hand wares, the language of sale is Kiswahili or Sheng (colloquial Kiswahili). If you speak English it equates having a lot of money or just being clueless about the cost of things. In short a lack of street smarts. I learnt that the hard way. I was talking to someone on the phone in English while I was looking for a pair of jeans. There was a lady who had shopped ahead of me and I overheard her ask the price of a pair of jeans I was eyeing. It was six hundred Kenyan shillings.

Now my megaphone voice gave me away. By the time I got off the phone and asked the price of the same pair of jeans it had gone up by fifty percent. Let’s just say it was a long haggle to get the price down. But like I said, everything’s a bargain! I got MY price.

I have even bargained my way to a cheaper price for roast maize (corn) on the side of the road. There was a guy who sold half a cob to me at 7 shillings and I only had 5 shillings in coins and I got it!

There’s the bargaining and then there is the Kenyan culture of entitlement to free things. It’s free, it’ll be given to you, but when the supplies run out its chaos. When I was a sales promotion person; aka the annoying sales person in a store who convinces you to buy commodities you don’t care about.

There was one promotion I did where we walked around with huge bags stuffed with close to 1000 samples of FREE toothpaste. I know a sample is free, but I need to drum in my point. The mission was to get consumers sampling the new brand of toothpaste. Initially people were skeptical about what we were giving out. So we’d walk up to individuals on the busy street and hand them a single box and tell them that it’s a new sample. Some said no, others just thought we were giving them empty boxes and that there was a catch.

Slowly people began warming up to it and we became the center of attention in Nairobi's CBD. Soon enough we were swamped from all ends; people yanking on the bag straps, others reaching out and wrestling each other to get closer. It’s all for the love of free. People were shouting to get my attention, a couple of winks from gentlemen. People called me ‘Aunty’, ‘siste’, others exclaiming out loud ‘Aki aunty pia mimi’ (aunty, sister, aunty me too). It was scary, but I stood my ground and waltzed off from the scene with my empty bag; my mission was accomplished.

I think the classic sign of the love for free is the late night calls when we all know Safaricom, Kenya’s largest Mobile telephone provider, slips up. I would be called at 3am to let me know of the ‘free’ calling period. I too would exploit it to just call and tell the other person that they can call for free. People would call all night and call all the random people in their phone book just to utilize the ‘free’ window. Well that’s changed now. When that happens and you do call, the next time you top up your phone credit, it is charged, so free does not exists, well at least in that context.

Unbelievable or not, that is just the tip of the iceberg. If you really want to know more and really experience a good bargain? Kenya’s the place to be. I love this country!