In every home some children get pet names; it is a sign of affection. Well…in essence that is how it is meant to be but this is Patriot’s Diary there is something about Kenyan pet names that makes them extra special! And believe you me; you are extra special when you have some of the names I’ve got lined up for you.
The usual ones mostly given to the children named after grand parents would fondly been referred to as Mummy, Daddy or Mzee (old man) by their parents. I have a cousin whose 30 and to be honest I have no clue what his name is other than Daddy! But, you see, with these kinds of names you can make it sound cool by the way you pronounce them. But then again if a Kenyan is to call you Daddy, you might just need to start using your official name because Daddy just won’t fly!
That is unless of course your family suups it with a Spanish version of your name so you are ‘Mami’ or ‘Papi’. But that is pretty much Spanish slang you’d use to hit on a guy or girl you like…maybe it’s not that cool after all.
Then there’s, ‘Chief’. I know I had mentioned that this is also a greeting! But when your pet name is chief, to be very honest I have no clue what your parents were thinking to be honest. Well after a phone call to my cousin I found out why. Her brother was named after her grand dad who was actually a chief (what do you know?!), so instead of using his actual name, the family just chose to stick to using ‘chief’!
‘Toto’ pretty much translates to child, this is commonly used on any child but some families baptize their lastborns with the name. But then again some parents just choose not to give their children another name. In Luo the word for lastborn means the same as ‘bone’; at times I am called ‘Chogo’ – ‘bone’ not the most flattering pet name on the planet is it? But I love it!
Now all the ones that I have mentioned sound pretty normal up until you hear ‘Mudu’ (Modo). Now the thing is this really is one of the nastiest names you can give your child, ‘mudu’ means person in Kikuyu. How generic can you get with a supposed pet name…for YOUR child? I mean, why call your child Ashley or Mwenda, call them ‘person’. How about that!(Above: even hyenas find it amusing)
Another community that has a special spot for mean pet names is Luos they tend to call children ‘Jaber’, which means beautiful. Nothing wrong with that right? WRONG! The reason why Luos call their kids ‘Jaber’ is to cover up the reality of bearing an ugly baby. So technically just because your luo name is beautiful it most likely means the opposite! Not the best for an insecure 10 year old to find out is it?
My brothers and sisters from the coastal part of Kenya also have a pleasant name they like to give chatterbox children; Chiriku. This is the name of a bird that chirps relentlessly. That isn’t bad. Especially when compared to ‘Boi’. All I know is it is Sheng for Boy other than that, I have no clue why you’d call your son Boi…well duh! What else would he be…
Now that is the round up of Kenya’s queerest, meanest and funniest pet names! Moral of the story; no pet names for my children! But I still love being Kenyan!
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